I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 77

#392- "Adapt concept to billboard, 40 feet by 60 feet. For presentation, please make actual-sized mock-up"
(Agency, Job order of young Account Manager to Art Director)

#391- "Overall, I am not ready to produce this TV commercial..."
(Client, On seeing concept board with one frame on it)

#390- "Note that we kept the colors of the set and props a golden yellow, in keeping with the brand color" - "But what's that square blue thing? Oh my God, you forgot to make that yellow!" - "Uh, it's the window. The blue thing is the sky" - "But we agreed, everything should be a golden yellow. That means even the sky!"
(Client to Producer, at the presentation of the offline edit of TV spot)

#389- "The reflections in the water should be at angle opposite to the sun" - "Um, no. The SHADOWS of objects would be at an angle away from the sun, but a reflection is always perpendicular to the reflective surface" - "No, you're wrong. Go back and point all the reflections away from the sun." - "Well, that would start to look kind of strange. Say, I have a small mirror at my desk; let me go get it so I can show you what I mean..." - "Don't get difficult with me!"
(Conversation with Client, looking at a Photoshop image)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 76

#388- "And of course, it would be especially nice if they could meet these super-human demands and not charge us"
(Client, to Account Executive)

#387- "Let's open up the text box more to alleviate the bad text ´raping´"
(Agency, email from Associate Creative Director to Creative team, attempting to comment on text wrapping)

#386- "I know you guys don't like to steal creative work, but sometimes the best ideas come from other places"
(Agency, same Associate Creative Director, trying to get his Creative team to copy a Volkswagen banner)

#385- "Add a roll-over state. People love roll-overs" - "Well, if that's the case, why don't we add puppies to the ad? Because everyone loves puppies"
(Agency, same Associate Creative Director to Copywriter, asking to add unnecessary fluff to a basic banner)

#384- "Overall, it's a great ad. But I don't like the headline, and I don't like the layout" - "What do you like? The border?" - "Well...yes"
(Conversation between Client and Agency)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 75

#383- "It needs to EXPLODE off the page! It needs FIREWORKS and COLOR! LOTS of colors! And exclamation points! Be creative. I could have done what you sent me on my own computer. The 14pt type is so small. I mean, you guys are the experts..."
(Hospital client, reacting to a double-truck newspaper ad celebrating being chosen ´Reader’s Choice´ for hospitals in a conference call to the AE, CD, AD and CW)

#382- "How did you change the TV channel on the brochure cover?"
(Client, referring to Photoshop work performed on a stock photo)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 74

#381- "If I give you approval, what can I still change?"
(Client, Marketing Manager)

#380- "Can we hear it before you record it?"
(Client, to agency creative team working on a radio spot)

#379- "For simplicity's sake, we ripped off a few things"
(Client, to design agency, regarding their website)

#378- "The quality of our artwork is pretty good."
(Client, regarding the eyesore that is their website)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 73

#377- "We need a giant steam head rising above the booth" - "Why?" - "Because people love steam. They’re drawn to it. It’s the power and magic of steam I’m talking about here!"
(Client, to Agency President)

#376- "The photography on our current site suffers from what I like to call the 'Ritz Effect'... too many crackers..."
(Client, talking to designer and project manager about lack of diverstiy in the photos on their current site)

#375- "I was wondering if you would be able to give me a $10 CPM?" - "Well, can you tell me who some of your clients are?" - "How can I get any clients if I don’t have a $10 CPM?"
(Agency, Media Planner talking to a Media Sales Rep)

#374- "I need a banner with a dynamic looking basketball, but it can't look like a basketball. It needs to look like a volleyball too."
(Agency, Account executive to graphic designer)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 72

#373- "I thought it best to get the agency started on the project. I met with Al, Todd, Joleen, Mike and some copywriter"
(Client meeting report)

#372- "Can you work up some type of ad. I think we'd probably gain mostly checking and savings accounts as well as loans. So it should be pretty general, but specific."
(Client email to Account Executive)

#371- "The client wants the image moved over a little more" - "Ok, about how many pixels?" - "I don't know what a pixel is. I can only think in inches..."
(Agency, Project Manager to Graphic Designer regarding a simple change)

#370- "I want you to surprise me with something I've never seen before - I want you to invent the wheel, just visually"
(Agency, Creative director to designer finishing a brochure, first week at her new job. Then he left for a party)

#369- "I need the background to be transparent. I have some transparencies that you can scan so you can have a transparent layer in Photoshop."
(Agency, Boss offering help to bewildered designer)

#368- "Man, my head REALLY hurts. This working all day thing is killing me" - "Yeah... but its only 4:30 pm"
(Agency, conversation between Art Director and Copywriter)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 71

#367- "I know there are a lot of typos, but your budget didn’t cover QC"
(Post Production Account rep to client, as told to competing studio manager)

#366- "We have 4 shots of this product, but don't spend any time on it..."
(Agency, Art director to photographer)

#365- "When can I see the draft of the event report for the newsletter?" - "End of next Monday?" - "No. I want it today. I need to show it to my boss to get his approval" - "Er... but the event's this Friday. So I can't interview guests for their comments and do a report of the event until the event happens right?" - "I don't care. I want the draft by the end of today. This the way we always work. Other agencies have done this for us before. So why can't you?"
(Conversation between Client and Copywriter)

#364- "I don't like green. Can we change it?"
(Client, Account Director to Art Director, personally unhappy with the colour of giant multinational coffee chain logo)

#363- "Don't worry, this project is really just a graphic design exercise, it doesn't require any real thinking or anything"
(Agency, Account Executive to Designer)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 70

#362- "Alright, I just sent Bob to go get those girls for the commercial!"
(Client, to Commercial Director in reference sending one of his employees to fetch the scantily clad middle school-aged girls seen walking across the street)

#361- "The spot is great except for the graphics and colors" - "But we duplicated the graphics and colors from your tri-fold, website and menu" - "Yes, we don't like those"
(Client, to Account Executive in reference to TV commercial sent out for approval)

#360- "Please add a watermarked graphic or clip art to the inside of the brochure. A heartstring pulling stock photo? Or maybe a cityscape? Not sure what would work best..."
(Client, to Designer about brochure revisions)

#359- "Logo needs to be bigger on the front page, so it can be seen across a room if in a brochure stand"
(Same client, to same Designer about same brochure revisions)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 69

#358- "That cover is too hip for the room."
(Client, giving feedback about a brochure cover for a church)

#357- "You need to add a a line on the cover of the invitation that says how to open it" - "Huh? But its a tri-fold.... How do they not know how to open it?" - "The client can’t figure out how to open it. Just add ‘open here, moron’"
(Agency, between Art Director and Associate Creative Director regarding client revision request)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 68

#356- "But surely, when you get rid of the palm tree fronds, the reflection of the palm tree fronds on the car will disappear too."
(Agency, Account Manager, when told that the ‘simple’ job of digitally removing something from a car shot wasn’t as simple as they thought.)

#355- "I know the globe is in our logo but we are not a global company so the only globe should be the one in our logo."
(Client feedback)

#354- "I’m at home trying to deciding if I’ll give you negative marks on your review for those biscuit lips."
(Agency, Creative Director poking fun at an Account Manager’s cold sores)

#353- "How do you print screen?" - "Alt-Print Screen." - "So, how long does it take to print?"
(Agency, Account Manager)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 67

#352- "How can I put the link on my desktop when you know I only have a laptop?"
(IT Client to Agency)

#351- "The client has given us FINAL approval, but asked if we could change one small thing."
(Agency, Project Manager to Art Director)

#350- "But tell me one thing, why have you not been paid till now???"
(Client, Finance Manager when being followed up on payment that was due.)

#349- "I will contact the artist, what is his name?" - "Vincent Van Gogh" - "Ok, I will call him and get his approval."
(Agency, Account Executive to Art Director on being told that ´Sunflowers´ cannot be used in the layout because of copyright issues)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 66

#348- "It's too Jewish."
(Conversation with Jewish client reviewing the Jewish themed ad for their Synagogue's newsletter.)

#347- "I hate these colors. These are not the colors you showed us in the design comps."
(Conversation between Client and Account Executive upon seeing the printer's blue line proofs.)

#346- "We love option 1. It is by far the cleanest one. We'd just like to add some contact information. Just the Call to Action, Website and our partner's logos. You are the artists. Just do your thing so it doesn't look like too much information. Gosh, I love it! It's so clean!"
(Client, Advertising Coordinator to Agency Account Supervisor, making comments on a what was intending to be a clean Billboard art.)

#345- "Oh, they must want those secret magic words that mean four things at once."
(Agency, Copywriter to Account Manager, discussing client comments)

#344- "Just shut-up. Nobody likes an asshole." "I dunno, some women like assholes."
(Agency, Account manager to Copywriter)

#343- "Why not fold this up until it has sharp corners and shove it up your stupid trade school bum."
(Agency, Associate Creative Director to Designer)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 65

#342- "Can you make the URL resemble a web link? You know, underlined in blue. That way everyone knows it's for our web site."
(Client, to Account Manager, describing the URL at the bottom of a print ad)

#341- "It’s simple really: I want you to come up with something that’s never been done before; something that touches hearts and minds all around the world. Oh, and I need it by 11 tomorrow morning."
(Agency, Marketing Director to Creative eam)

#340- "What's a linking URL?"
(Agency, interactive Media Planner to Traffic)

#339- "This logo needs to be extremely high end." - "So like Ralph Lauren black label?" - "Higher-but don't spend more than 3 hours on it, it's not that important."
(Agency, VP to Creative Director regarding a logo for a golf outing)

#338- "The ad looks great, but I can’t hear it." - "Have you tried adjusting the volume?" - "Oh, that’s much better."
(Client, on a phone call giving feedback to Avid Editor)

#337- "How dare you! You know I hate banjo!"
(Agency, Creative Director to Music Producer upon arriving at a recording session an hour late)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 64

#336- "I really like it, but can you make the type a darker white so it shows up more?""
(Client, to Art Director)

#335- "What do you mean this is a four color job? I don't want four colors, we are paying for all of the colors and by God I want all of the colors."
(Client, Marketing Manager to agency Art Director)

#334- "This african american is too dark. Can we use someone more racially vague?"
(Client, to Account Director and Creative, discussing photography for a direct mail brochure)

#333- "That black guy doesn’t look ethnic - can we get a real black guy?"
(Client, comment about a photo of an African American man)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 63

#332- "It´s all ok. good looking, nice layout, modern, right concept, but… my appreciation about the communication is: the black is too dark, and the red is too bloody."
(Client, Product Manager, giving feedback to Creative Director)

#331- "I'll fax our logo over right now and you can use that in the ad."
(Client in email response to designer's request for a camera-ready logo)

#330- "Where's that manager? ...what´s his name?" - "Ron?" - "Yes! The fat one!"
(Agency, Creative Director to Graphic Designer on whereabouts of Studio Manager)

#329- "Don't worry about the talent's wardrobe sizes. I don't want to bother them anymore. Besides, there are lot's of places to buy clothes near the shoot."
(Agency, Account Executive to Art Director)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 62

#328- "Final Changes: please make sure our logo´s and pictures can´t be saved or copied off the website." - "It is not possible! If they don't want to share they should not be on the web."
(Conversation between Client and Account Executive)

#327- "This flyer is URGENT. I don't know how you do it but just do it so it fits an envelope. Just like the one I'm holding now".
(Client, Trade Marketing Coordinator to Account Supervisor... on a phone conversation)

#326- "Their eagle soars more than our eagle"
(Client to Agency when comparing an eagle from a competitor's TV spot with their own)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 61

#325- "What copy should I use?" - "Just do some of that fluff that you do."
(Agency Creative Director)

#324- "It's already a pizza, now with what the client is asking for, it'll make it an all-dressed pizza!"
(Agency, Project Manager to his Director of Production)

#323- "OK people, who's got the shovel? Because we're knee deep in it!"
(Agency, same Project Manager to his Production Team)

#322- "I just need this to get into Communications Arts."
(Creative Director to designers, weekly)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 60

#321- "Can you adjust the leading on the headline?" - "No, the font comes like that."
(Agency, Art Director's reply to Account Manager)

#320- "I need awards! get me awards! If you don't get me awards, otherwise I will make sure you get fired before I do."
(Client, Marketing Manager to Agency Account Director)

#319- "Why do we need to code the website? Can't you just export from Microsoft Word?"
(Agency, Chairman of Internet Company to Web Developer)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 59

#318- "The girls in that car are too young, not saying I wouldn´t want to be in there with them, I just don´t think the client would."
(Agency CEO to Designer)

#317- "Uh oh, the sleeves printed over the weekend... Was the change a significant one?"
(Agency, Account Manager to Designer after a significant redesign)

#316- "That new photographer really did a great job on that light, but maybe just maybe we have to think on how we can make him work more in the style of the photographer we used before, i don’t know you know I’m not an expert, but still"
(Agency, Art Director to Traffic Manager)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 58

#315- "So that's the concept and the site name. What are your thoughts?" - "I am just trying to imagine a logo with a name that long" - "Don't worry about it son, we'll leave that up to the designers"
(Agency, conversation between CEO and Lead Designer)

#314- "I don't want any of you in here working on Thanksgiving Day."
(Agency, Creative Director, thinking he's being generous)

#313- "My sky is not as blue as my competitors' sky!"
(Client, after viewing his commercial)

#312- "I need to speak to the Chairman." - "You can't, he's out on an unbreakable out of agency commitment." - "Huh?" - "OK, don't tell anyone, he's playing golf with his brother."
(Agency, conversation between Creative and Chairman´s PA)

#311- "This all looks nice, but I'm not sure about the color or the way it's all put on the page. Here are some fabric swatches and some photos of the artwork we just redid our living room with... this is really more what I think we're going for here. But what you did was nice too!"
(Client feedback)