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#367- "I know there are a lot of typos, but your budget didn’t cover QC"
(Post Production Account rep to client, as told to competing studio manager)

#366- "We have 4 shots of this product, but don't spend any time on it..."
(Agency, Art director to photographer)

#365- "When can I see the draft of the event report for the newsletter?" - "End of next Monday?" - "No. I want it today. I need to show it to my boss to get his approval" - "Er... but the event's this Friday. So I can't interview guests for their comments and do a report of the event until the event happens right?" - "I don't care. I want the draft by the end of today. This the way we always work. Other agencies have done this for us before. So why can't you?"
(Conversation between Client and Copywriter)

#364- "I don't like green. Can we change it?"
(Client, Account Director to Art Director, personally unhappy with the colour of giant multinational coffee chain logo)

#363- "Don't worry, this project is really just a graphic design exercise, it doesn't require any real thinking or anything"
(Agency, Account Executive to Designer)

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#362- "Alright, I just sent Bob to go get those girls for the commercial!"
(Client, to Commercial Director in reference sending one of his employees to fetch the scantily clad middle school-aged girls seen walking across the street)

#361- "The spot is great except for the graphics and colors" - "But we duplicated the graphics and colors from your tri-fold, website and menu" - "Yes, we don't like those"
(Client, to Account Executive in reference to TV commercial sent out for approval)

#360- "Please add a watermarked graphic or clip art to the inside of the brochure. A heartstring pulling stock photo? Or maybe a cityscape? Not sure what would work best..."
(Client, to Designer about brochure revisions)

#359- "Logo needs to be bigger on the front page, so it can be seen across a room if in a brochure stand"
(Same client, to same Designer about same brochure revisions)

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#358- "That cover is too hip for the room."
(Client, giving feedback about a brochure cover for a church)

#357- "You need to add a a line on the cover of the invitation that says how to open it" - "Huh? But its a tri-fold.... How do they not know how to open it?" - "The client can’t figure out how to open it. Just add ‘open here, moron’"
(Agency, between Art Director and Associate Creative Director regarding client revision request)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 68

#356- "But surely, when you get rid of the palm tree fronds, the reflection of the palm tree fronds on the car will disappear too."
(Agency, Account Manager, when told that the ‘simple’ job of digitally removing something from a car shot wasn’t as simple as they thought.)

#355- "I know the globe is in our logo but we are not a global company so the only globe should be the one in our logo."
(Client feedback)

#354- "I’m at home trying to deciding if I’ll give you negative marks on your review for those biscuit lips."
(Agency, Creative Director poking fun at an Account Manager’s cold sores)

#353- "How do you print screen?" - "Alt-Print Screen." - "So, how long does it take to print?"
(Agency, Account Manager)

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#352- "How can I put the link on my desktop when you know I only have a laptop?"
(IT Client to Agency)

#351- "The client has given us FINAL approval, but asked if we could change one small thing."
(Agency, Project Manager to Art Director)

#350- "But tell me one thing, why have you not been paid till now???"
(Client, Finance Manager when being followed up on payment that was due.)

#349- "I will contact the artist, what is his name?" - "Vincent Van Gogh" - "Ok, I will call him and get his approval."
(Agency, Account Executive to Art Director on being told that ´Sunflowers´ cannot be used in the layout because of copyright issues)

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#348- "It's too Jewish."
(Conversation with Jewish client reviewing the Jewish themed ad for their Synagogue's newsletter.)

#347- "I hate these colors. These are not the colors you showed us in the design comps."
(Conversation between Client and Account Executive upon seeing the printer's blue line proofs.)

#346- "We love option 1. It is by far the cleanest one. We'd just like to add some contact information. Just the Call to Action, Website and our partner's logos. You are the artists. Just do your thing so it doesn't look like too much information. Gosh, I love it! It's so clean!"
(Client, Advertising Coordinator to Agency Account Supervisor, making comments on a what was intending to be a clean Billboard art.)

#345- "Oh, they must want those secret magic words that mean four things at once."
(Agency, Copywriter to Account Manager, discussing client comments)

#344- "Just shut-up. Nobody likes an asshole." "I dunno, some women like assholes."
(Agency, Account manager to Copywriter)

#343- "Why not fold this up until it has sharp corners and shove it up your stupid trade school bum."
(Agency, Associate Creative Director to Designer)

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#342- "Can you make the URL resemble a web link? You know, underlined in blue. That way everyone knows it's for our web site."
(Client, to Account Manager, describing the URL at the bottom of a print ad)

#341- "It’s simple really: I want you to come up with something that’s never been done before; something that touches hearts and minds all around the world. Oh, and I need it by 11 tomorrow morning."
(Agency, Marketing Director to Creative eam)

#340- "What's a linking URL?"
(Agency, interactive Media Planner to Traffic)

#339- "This logo needs to be extremely high end." - "So like Ralph Lauren black label?" - "Higher-but don't spend more than 3 hours on it, it's not that important."
(Agency, VP to Creative Director regarding a logo for a golf outing)

#338- "The ad looks great, but I can’t hear it." - "Have you tried adjusting the volume?" - "Oh, that’s much better."
(Client, on a phone call giving feedback to Avid Editor)

#337- "How dare you! You know I hate banjo!"
(Agency, Creative Director to Music Producer upon arriving at a recording session an hour late)

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#336- "I really like it, but can you make the type a darker white so it shows up more?""
(Client, to Art Director)

#335- "What do you mean this is a four color job? I don't want four colors, we are paying for all of the colors and by God I want all of the colors."
(Client, Marketing Manager to agency Art Director)

#334- "This african american is too dark. Can we use someone more racially vague?"
(Client, to Account Director and Creative, discussing photography for a direct mail brochure)

#333- "That black guy doesn’t look ethnic - can we get a real black guy?"
(Client, comment about a photo of an African American man)

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#332- "It´s all ok. good looking, nice layout, modern, right concept, but… my appreciation about the communication is: the black is too dark, and the red is too bloody."
(Client, Product Manager, giving feedback to Creative Director)

#331- "I'll fax our logo over right now and you can use that in the ad."
(Client in email response to designer's request for a camera-ready logo)

#330- "Where's that manager? ...what´s his name?" - "Ron?" - "Yes! The fat one!"
(Agency, Creative Director to Graphic Designer on whereabouts of Studio Manager)

#329- "Don't worry about the talent's wardrobe sizes. I don't want to bother them anymore. Besides, there are lot's of places to buy clothes near the shoot."
(Agency, Account Executive to Art Director)

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#328- "Final Changes: please make sure our logo´s and pictures can´t be saved or copied off the website." - "It is not possible! If they don't want to share they should not be on the web."
(Conversation between Client and Account Executive)

#327- "This flyer is URGENT. I don't know how you do it but just do it so it fits an envelope. Just like the one I'm holding now".
(Client, Trade Marketing Coordinator to Account Supervisor... on a phone conversation)

#326- "Their eagle soars more than our eagle"
(Client to Agency when comparing an eagle from a competitor's TV spot with their own)

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#325- "What copy should I use?" - "Just do some of that fluff that you do."
(Agency Creative Director)

#324- "It's already a pizza, now with what the client is asking for, it'll make it an all-dressed pizza!"
(Agency, Project Manager to his Director of Production)

#323- "OK people, who's got the shovel? Because we're knee deep in it!"
(Agency, same Project Manager to his Production Team)

#322- "I just need this to get into Communications Arts."
(Creative Director to designers, weekly)

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#321- "Can you adjust the leading on the headline?" - "No, the font comes like that."
(Agency, Art Director's reply to Account Manager)

#320- "I need awards! get me awards! If you don't get me awards, otherwise I will make sure you get fired before I do."
(Client, Marketing Manager to Agency Account Director)

#319- "Why do we need to code the website? Can't you just export from Microsoft Word?"
(Agency, Chairman of Internet Company to Web Developer)

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#318- "The girls in that car are too young, not saying I wouldn´t want to be in there with them, I just don´t think the client would."
(Agency CEO to Designer)

#317- "Uh oh, the sleeves printed over the weekend... Was the change a significant one?"
(Agency, Account Manager to Designer after a significant redesign)

#316- "That new photographer really did a great job on that light, but maybe just maybe we have to think on how we can make him work more in the style of the photographer we used before, i don’t know you know I’m not an expert, but still"
(Agency, Art Director to Traffic Manager)

I need it 4 yesterday - delivery 58

#315- "So that's the concept and the site name. What are your thoughts?" - "I am just trying to imagine a logo with a name that long" - "Don't worry about it son, we'll leave that up to the designers"
(Agency, conversation between CEO and Lead Designer)

#314- "I don't want any of you in here working on Thanksgiving Day."
(Agency, Creative Director, thinking he's being generous)

#313- "My sky is not as blue as my competitors' sky!"
(Client, after viewing his commercial)

#312- "I need to speak to the Chairman." - "You can't, he's out on an unbreakable out of agency commitment." - "Huh?" - "OK, don't tell anyone, he's playing golf with his brother."
(Agency, conversation between Creative and Chairman´s PA)

#311- "This all looks nice, but I'm not sure about the color or the way it's all put on the page. Here are some fabric swatches and some photos of the artwork we just redid our living room with... this is really more what I think we're going for here. But what you did was nice too!"
(Client feedback)

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#310- "We need this to look really amazing - it's really got to stand outand wow the client. But the budget is small so don´t spend any time working on it."
(Agency, Account Manager to Designer)

#309- "I like this layout, but let me take it home and show my wife. She's the artist in the family."
(Client to Agency, about wife who was taking a painting class)

#308- "Can we remove the french things on the word 'resume'?"
(Client, Marketing Manager to Designer)

#307- "On the package: What is the PMS color of the hamburger?"
(Client to Creative Services)

#306- "This is great, but I'd really like it with a big, black violator. I've used them in the past and they really get the point across."
(Client to Art Director)

#305- "Please make the file in these specifications: full color vectorial PDF on CMYK"
(Agency, creative brief from Project Manager)

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#304- "When someone's wife dies, you have to accept that the timeline my slip slightly"
(Agency Director to Client)

#303- "Of course you want it for yesterday! If you want it for today, you should order it TOMORROW!!!"
(Agency, Anonymous)

#302- "Could you possibly give us a design for the business card that's more like the one our CEO designed in PowerPoint?"
(Client, Marketing Director to Designer)

#301- "There's a lot of empty space in this ad, but I'm just not sure that the audience we are targeting is the empty-space audience."
(Agency, Account manager to Designer)

#300- "So, you can 'de-res-ify' these images?"
(Agency, Marketing co-ordinator to Designer regarding exporting lower resolution images)

#299- "Could you move our logo to the top of the poster? I mean... What if someone is standing in front of it?
(Client to Creative Director)

#298- "But they're in Canada... Can they even read an eps file?"
(Agency Owner to Art Director)

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#297- "Can we see theplane more from above in that shot?"
(Creative Director speaking to an editor of a TV spot)

#296- "Let me be frank." - "Fine. Be Frank or be Jeff but pick one face and stick with it."
(Agency, Account Executive turning on creative after earlier praising the work)

#295- "Today's time management seminar has been cancelled due to a scheduling conflict for (Agency President)

#294- "I hate to tell you but that idea's been done before." - "I know, but it was in England. Nobody's done it here so it's not stealing."
(Agency, Anonymous)

#293- "Unfortunately, everything for E-Commerce is at the bottom of the barrel currently as we have other things that are a higher priority."
(Agency, Creative Director to E-Commerce Marketing Director in weekly Traffic meeting)

#292- "Well, I love the general feel but I rather expected to have photos instead of these scribbles."
(Client, on showing hand-visualised mock-up of brochure)

#291- "Look, we can't get the horse in the elevator!"
(Agency, Account Director to Client)

#290- "I want to put a burger joint on the moon"
(Fast Food Client to Account Director)

#289- "We need you to resize the Portuguese and Spanish versions." - "I don’t think I ever did a Spanish version. I mean, I remember doing one in Mexican..."
(Agency, Art Director talking to a Retoucher)

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#288- "Although happy with the service, we are considering putting our media buying work out to pitch."
(Client)

#287- "In the rest room , we face two challenges."
(Client, Brand Manager, on developing markets for cleaning products)

#286- "We need to make our demo reel in HD. Can you send the websites in HD format?" - "Websites are made for computer screens, not HD." - "Well you have the sources for our sites, can't you re-render them in HD?"
(Client, Director of Sales, to Concept Artist)

#285- "Can we add sound effects? People love sound effects!"
(Client to creative team, after being presented a radio campaign)

#284- "Hey, is 44 kb good?" - "No it's really small" - "I don't understand, it's large on my screen andwhen i open it up it says 300 pixels"
(Agency, Creative Director, confusing pixels with DPI)

#283- "Tell him it doesn’t snow at any of the Hawaii properties, but maybe we can do the same effect with molten lava spews.”
(Agency, Designer to Project Manager, after the client forwards a link to a snow animation on a holiday website)

#282- "This is 11x17 and in camera format. Please have the artist put in true jpg format: 8.5x11"
(Client to Account Executive in reference to a JPG image)

#281- "The good news is, you have the weekend to work."
(Agency, Traffic to Creative Team)

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#280- "Could you please make the thought bubbles in this ad more realistic?"
(Client to Designer)

#279- "Is ITV the number 3 on my remote control?" - "It depends how your TV is set up..."
(TV client asking a Media Planner)

#278- "Can you make it smaller, but bigger on screen?"
(Agency, Art director about logo on TV ad)

#277- "I like take 1 and 3"
(Client on hearing same v/o played 4 times)

#276- "Can you make the hamster look less ambitious? Can we minute that?"
(Client to Agency)

#275- "Those are sounds only dogs can hear."
(Agency, Creative Director to her team while discussing strategy)

#274- "I can't help you now. I have to go to a teamwork seminar."
(Agency, Account Executive to Creative Team in a moment of client-related crisis)

#273- "I have found that it is important to use a background media with little or no details or imagery"
(Client comments on a trade show booth)

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#272-"Next time you two are going to do something conceptual could you let me know?"
(Print producer to creative team)

#271-"Should we really be spending 2 million dollars on this if the world is going to end?
(Client to Agency about launching a website right before the year 2000)

#270-"How many weeks are in a 13 week cycle?"
(Account Executive to Producer)

#269-"The colors for the cars on my screen are not matching the brochures when I hold them up, you need to get them closer to the brochure."
(Client to Designer)

#268-"What country is Denver in?"
(Agency, Web intern comment)

#267-"Um, in terms of casting, we were thinking a little more... um... urban."
(Client to Agency regarding casting of African Americans)

#266-"That looks great. But can you make the shadow fuzzier and exactly 3% more transparent on all 145 versions ?"
(Online Editor, after tape has been fedexed to distribution network)

#265-"In a perfect world, if there was no Christmas, when could we launch?"
(Client to Creative Director complaining about the production schedule because time set aside for the holidays and agency/office closures conflicted with their desired in-market date)